Happiness Project Toolbox

I am v. lucky to have a job that pays so well AND allows me to do so much personally stuff scott-free. I have worked hard & lucked out in tailoring this job to what it is, and I should be thankful for it every day. Seriously. You've got it good, kid.

Detoxing...from the office's toxic coffee, from co-worker's toxic attitudes, from the junk I've been putting in my body and from my own negatives tendencies. I can produce much better results if I fuel myself with finer things to begin with.

Not only have I not been doing March's resolutions; I've forgotten I was supposed to also be carrying over February's. The whole point of starting w/organization was to create a foundation to make everything else easier. Must pick things up, & now.

I really do not like who I am sometimes.

Dear old desk & all its incumbent shite: I am so v. glad I have nothing to do w/you anymore. I refuse to lend a hand to your issues, b/c I v. specifically maneuvered away from them and am quite happy I did so. Best of luck, & good riddance.

Taking a personal day tomorrow--things are descending mood-wise at work and this will let me center, not be rushed over the weekend, and enjoy tonight out w/Kitty & Carolyn w/out feeling trapped. Good to know my limits and how to check them.

Note to self: Limit survey time. It's nice to keep up & nice to earn a few extra bucks, but prolonged survey doing does not equal worthwhile productivity. You have much bigger things to start right now & mock productivity is a time kill, too.

Everywhere I turn are exhortations of the good of working for yourself. Every inspirational blog is from the fortunate self-employed. GMA features tips on freeing yourself. I can't help feeling resentful. Sign me up, by all means! But how???

Starting April's goal now, since it's just a redo of this month's. Bad display by Kell. I must look at my resolutions every morning and actively pursue them the way I did the organization goals. Attitude is so much more ambiguous--and harder!!

Note: no more random drinking at home. It makes me drowsy & grumpy & I miss out on possibly wonderful times. Time to stop checking out and start Living Deliberately...

Stolen from someone else's one-sentence journal: Just b/c you stumble down a few stairs, that doesn't mean you have to throw yourself down the whole flight. I enjoy the way that is put.

Lost R the chance for Conan tickets in Toronto b/c I felt inconvenienced being asked about them right before bed. Yet another failure in this spectacularly bad effort I am *not* making. What a crappy, crappy job I am doing with this month. :(

This month is so much harder than I expected-or, more accurately, I am slacking off on it so much it's like I'm not even trying. It's much easier to clean closets and check off to-do's than it is to change the whole way I react to the world. Poor R.

Gretchen's daily e-mail led me to another source of inspiration: The Art of Non-Conformity blog. Already voraciously addicted. I know how I'll be spending my down time at work today... :D

Have realized that simply checking bad impulses only goes 1/2way towards improving my attitude. I also need to push myself to be nicer, kinder, more generous, rather than just NOT being the opposites. Looks like I'll need to add another month...

Need to remember "panda face" episode last night and making Ryan laugh so much he nearly pooped himself. It was sweet and beautiful, and it felt wondering to see him so happy and know that I'd caused it. I could have more of the same if I try.

Halfway into Attitude Month already, and I am told, "If you were really sorry, it wouldn't keep happening." Talk about a good, swift kick in the pants. I need to start getting serious about this... :(

Drowsiness makes for a much less enthusiastic and elastic Kell. I need to learn to work towards my resolutions even when I don't feel inspired or particularly energetic.

New-found veggie-filled lunches inspired me to put bananas for breakfast on the grocery list. One step in the right direction snowballs! Perhaps I'll get the "eat better" resolution conquered before health month even begins. :D

Having the internet down at work for a couple hours = catching up on all my nagging filing at a surprisingly quick rate. Not surprising. :P

Just privatized some of the entries--I need this note jotting to be thoughtful and interesting if I'm going to share it. Raw confessionalism never got me anywhere.

"Every new minute is a chance to start over." - I must remind myself of this Personal Commandment. I won't have flawless days, but if I admit it as soon as I *do* slip up and immediately get back on track trying, that is o.k., too.

Managed to break every single resolution I have this month in five awful minutes when I was tired last night. So I am giving myself no check marks for yesterday, at all. I felt more awful than awful, after an otherwise lovely day.

Lesson learned: Rolling with the punches makes you feel easier-going and more appreciative, in addition to making you a pleasanter person to be around. A successful day in this month's goals.

Need to tweak some of this month's resolutions--I'm beginning to notice bigger problem areas as I go about trying to "have a better attitude." Number one: No more grumpy pants! Tiny negative comments and gripes add up to an overall grayer mood.

Waking up on time = less rushing and better mood to start the day. I wonder how many mornings I'll need to be late and rushing to finally accept this.

Starting w/Organization Month was a good idea. Much easier to hit the ground running at work when I wake up on time, have a clutter-free inbox and don't feel any nagging projects weighing me down.

Got a bunch of To-Do's checked off yesterday in honor of the end of Organization Month. Now begins a much harder task...getting my *self* in order...

No go on R's great new job possibility. Just imagining not having to worry about $$ for once will be a tough feeling to get over, but I need to accept that this must be the way things were meant to be. It is what it is...

I have three people interested in reading The Happiness Journal now that I'm done with it--including Ryan! How awesome would it be if my husband started his own Project so we could keep each other motivated & accountable?

Antsy to do more--jump ahead to writing month, to physical fitness month, to learning month. Perhaps patience is something this whole thing will also teach me. I'm not even averaging well on the month I'm currently doing, so slow it down, Kell...

Kind of sad that R is going back to work today--he got so much done around the house while he was unemployed! Made my To Do list checking-off look even more impressive... :P

Doing surprisingly bad on the "check one thing off the To Do list a day" resolution. Looks like this weekend the chore-tackling is going to have to go into hyperdrive...

Reminder: Without fail, going out when I don't feel like it (which is almost always) usually boosts and relaxes me. I should try to remember that.

Waking up w/the alarm = time to have coffee, read a few pages in my book, cuddle w/the dogs, and check a few things off the To Do list, all before work, without feeling rushed. A little drowsy this morning, but it was totally worth it!

Felt kind of draggy yesterday and definitely uninspired, but then I tackled a couple things I'd been putting off, and voila--I felt more optimistic and alert. I don't think I realized how draining it was having naggling little projects piled up.

I need to remember the enthusiasm and the energy will not always be there, but that's no excuse not to follow through on my resolutions. I go to work every day whether I feel like it or not (usually), so why shouldn't my resolutions get the same?

Enjoyed my "down time" last night so much more after a day of productivity and efficiency. I believe I am on to something...

It's amazing how much calmer and more invigorated I feel just having a clean closet and a cleared-off kitchen counter. And yes, curse it, it *does* feel better just doing my work projects as I get them. Darn adult responsibleness being right...

I feel better just to be doing something.